Today I'm going to have to break a man's heart. Today he's going to open my email and yell "NO NO NO NO NO" at the top of his lungs for the rest of the week.Many years ago, my friend Jan invented the Tauntaun Sleeping Bag. It started as a joke on cold winter mornings that he'd gladly slit a Tauntaun belly and climb inside for warmth. If you're unfamiliar with the backstory, in the second Star Wars movie, Luke and Han play Marco Polo on an ice planet, Luke gets punched by the Abominable Snowman, they get locked out over night, and Han keeps Luke warm inside a giant dead donkey-raptor hybrid called a Tauntaun. People loved that joke, and he shared it often.
Announcing, the Tauntaun Sleeping Bag.
This thing comes complete will saddle, intestines, embroidered head pillow, 100% polyester, machine washable and even has a glowing light sabre zipper to illustrate how you slice open the belly to gain entry. It's actually an April Fool's joke, but since Jan wasn't first to market, his claim and dreams are now null and void. I could tell him how sad I was when I saw this less ambitious version of my more luxurious All Day Duvet idea come to life, but that would be cold comfort.
Today he will have to retire his joke, and his dreams. So how will he, or any of us, deal with this level of personal failure and heartbreak? The only way to deal with failure is the oven thing I described earlier, or learn from it and move on. Cold comfort you say? Here are even chillier tips that only you can choose to use, when you're ready of course. Much like an alcoholic, you can't be helped till you're ready to be helped.
Close your oven door
First thing is the crushing pain of defeat. Pain becomes fear, fear becomes hate, hate becomes evil. Of course you're going to feel sorry for yourself. This leads to self-righteousness, which leads to sadness, which leads to boredom. Hate me later, but you have to pull up your bootstraps and struggle. Life without struggle is boredom, and boredom isn't really a life.
Misery loves company
I won't lie and say it's wasteful to mope. Moping is natural and therapeutic and if that's where you're at, I suggest moping as part of a group. Purging your negative feelings is more productive in a group setting and peer feedback is a faster road to recovery than withdrawing into yourself.
Let's point some fingers!
Actually, let's get some perspective is what I meant. At some point you have to stop laying blame, try to be mature and hypothesize a reason it didn't work. It keeps the rage in check and helps you sleep better. If you go on ten job interviews and nothing happens, ask yourself questions like "had there already been a hundred equally good candidates interviewed for the job"; not "why do I suck so bad".
Let's examine our tracks and see if they end with a rebel sleeping in our stomach
If at first you don't succeed does it make sense to try, try again in the exact same way? Or does it sound better to tweak something about your approach and try again. Did you know Edison failed almost ten-thousand times before his light bulb finally worked? Ten thousand times! What an a-hole, right? Wrong. Edison changed his strategy almost ten-thousand times before he found on what worked. Whether it's an invention or an interview, trade your time for opportunity. You certainly have nothing to lose.
Help me (insert name here), you are my only hope
You'll probably have died of hunger before your ten-thousandth interview, so if you're going to suffer, don't do it alone. Fact is, your judgement and objectivity are impaired. Ask people you respect to examine your failure. It's the wiki logic that suggests someone with no prior knowledge of a problem is the best one to offer a solution. My friend from this previous article once pointed out something hanging from my nose. I was a little put off till he asked if I'd rather have not known. That booger changed my life.
Wash that Tauntaun stink off you
Whether you're waking hung over or covered in donkey-raptor intestinal fluid, the bottom line is you need to brush yourself off and get back in the game. Nothing says more about a person than how they deal with failure. I'm failing to think of a fantastic end to this article, but I'm okay with that, and I'll move on.
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